First Time Mother Anxieties
Since I was a little girl, I knew I always wanted to be a wife and mother, and when my husband and I found out that we were pregnant with our little Grace, we were absolutely ecstatic. My dream had come true! My excitedness trumped all my worries most of the time, but as a first time mother, it’s crazy the worries that do pop up out of nowhere beginning as soon as the first trimester.
I remember having my first ultrasound around 10-12 weeks and having this small little doubt in my mind that our little baby wouldn’t be there when I look at the screen. Thankfully, that was not the case, and we saw Grace as soon as the ultrasound began!
Come 2nd and 3rd trimesters when I began to feel Grace moving, whenever there were times I didn’t feel her moving as much, the first time mom brain in me would worry if she was all right. As soon as I had those feelings, it’s like Grace knew, she would immediately kick or move to reassure me. Which by the way, you realize how special pregnancy really is, when you feel your baby move and kick inside you. It made me realize how pregnancy really is a miracle (this could be a whole separate blog post!). It’s a beautiful start to an incredible journey and new chapter in your life.
Maybe I’m strange, I will admit I wasn’t super nervous or anxious when it came to labor. I don’t know how it is for others, but I felt surprisingly calm. Again my labor story could be its own separate blog post, but it went pretty smoothly, and I was surrounded by family and my husband.
Now the postpartum stages, there are so many small things that I never thought would give me anxiety or make me worry and I don’t think people mention it enough! Every time I lay Grace down, I’m tempted to check that she is still breathing. She is so peaceful and calm as she sleeps that I sometimes doubt but she is always fine. The worried mom brain is real!
There’s also been a couple times when I am feeding Grace her formula, and about an ounce in, she gets super fussy, and I worry about what is wrong. My mom told me it could be potentially the nipples because after sterilizing so many times, the hole can actually get smaller, which then makes it harder for your baby to drink the food. Blew my mind! And it turns out that was the problem! She wasn’t sick or anything… turns out it was a bottle nipple issue.
It’s getting better now, but earlier on when Grace would cry, I would worry what she needed, especially after we already changed her and fed her. I didn’t necessarily realize that she can also cry when tired… especially when she gets overly tired after being up for too long. Wake windows. That’s the first time I had ever heard of those. Learning her tired queues has helped immensely. Again, not sick, just tired!
Of course there are a ton more, such as worrying you haven’t strapped the baby into the car seat correctly, running out of diapers and having an emergency right when that happens, running out of formula because you waited too long to buy more, your baby potentially getting sick in the middle of night and having to call the doctor, the baby falling off from their changing table, annnnd so many more.
The happiness and joy have exceeded all of the worries and anxieties, but my goodness, it’s certainly real! We’re 2 1/2 months in, and we have plenty more to learn and gain!
Grace and I right before Church. She is the cutest thing in the world.
